We made it home.....but missing Dennis

We made it home safe and sound around 2:30am on July 5th.  I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel absolutely wonderful crawling into my own bed that night, but I'd also be lying if I didn't say that I feel like a part of me is missing with Dennis still back in Ukraine.  I miss him.  John misses him.  He is constantly in our thoughts and I am preparing like a mad woman nesting for his arrival on the 18th.

Dennis loves skin on skin contact even if that means resting on his Mama's jiggly jello legs. 

Dennis loved playing with Daddy's cell phone.  "How does Daddy make it play music, but I can't?"

We left this photo album with Dennis so that he could look at it everyday.  We even asked his caretakers to leave it in his crib.  Thanks to whoever suggested leaving a blanket with our son so that he could still remember our scent even though we are not there with him.  Now if only I had remembered to bring home something with his scent.

On our last visit with Dennis, it seemed as if he knew that something was up.  Children are so intuitive that I'm sure he realized that we were leaving. 

John and I wondered how long it would take for Dennis to accept our attempts at consoling him when he got hurt and was in pain.  Dennis showed us on the last day that he would indeed accept our love, hugs and kisses when he needed them most.   Here he is crying his sweet little innocent cry after falling as he was trying to push himself up to a sitting position.  My whispering, "Ya Lublu Tebya," as I held him close calmed him down.  John rubbing his head probably helped too.

Our son Dennis

This is the last picture we took with our son before saying goodbye. John and I have decided that it is best that we go back home for now and wait out the 10 days----- this decision did not come easy. Everyone sensed that Dennis knew something was up. :( But do not worry, Dennis will not have to wait long. We are already trying to book a flight for him to return on the 14th of July to pick him up. Our facilitator has been wonderful and will do her best to get as much done as she can before John gets back. This next trip should only be three or so days. :)

We have to say goodbye for now as we are getting ready to catch a train (the Ukraine Train!) out of Kramatorsk.

Introducing Dennis Jack Reed!!!

Today was apparently a good day. After all, we had our court date, and he's our son now. Our coordinator had even "won over" the heart of the judge and jury to waive our 10 days...
But this is never waived and has never been waived in Kramatorsk. Even now. The heart, or lack of such, of the prosecutor was not won over. He essentially said that if the judge ruled illegally to pursue with the "immediate decision", then we would be fighting the prosecutor for the next few MONTHS. He was against it the whole time and logic and reason and compassion was not going to pursuade him.
Nevertheless, Dennis is ours and we can show his pictures now and so here are a few...
As to what exactly the next few days and weeks look like, we aren't certain yet--we are waiting to see if tickets to Kiev are available, flight date changes, etc. But it is entirely possible that we are going to return immediately (as soon as practical that is) to home in California to relieve family and friends that have been holding down the fort as well as to get John back to work. John may have to take another week off mid July to return to Ukraine to get Dennis.
But none of this is certain yet and we'll keep options open and communicated later as known...

This is an early one of him and the balls from the ball pit that always made him smile.

This is a good one of the three of us...

Checking to hear Dad's heart beat...

Napping in mama's arms after a great long nature walk...

Ditto but dad's arms this time...

And the star of this blog!!!
--JR

Wednesday in Kramatorsk

I took this picture bright and early this morning at the begining of our walk to the orphanage. Doesn't John fit right in with the locals in his shorts drinking his ice cold Pepsi? Nyet.

After our morning visit we walked about 1 1/2 miles to my favorite inexpensive place to eat, Premier. We were about 15 minutes early so we sat down on a bench to do our favorite thing in Ukraine besides visiting with Dennis------ people watching.

This gentleman rushed by us in his wheelchair and I thought cool---- it is awseome to see a disabled man out and about in this country. Since it really is a rarity to see anyone out and about if they have a disability, I asked John to take a picture. He had to run, and run, and run, to catch up to him. Don't let the wheelchair fool you----- he is fast as lightening. And no we didn't look rude taking his picture, I cropped it to look close up.

Here we are at the cafe. This picture kind of reminds me of pictures of our honeymoon almost 15 years ago.

I took this picture of John to show you the bright red haired woman to the left of him. Lots of woman find this hair color very fashionable here in Ukraine.

We ordered two awesome entrees. I had chicken and mushrooms over a bed of noodles all in a cream sauce (John ordered it the day before) and John had pork cutlets with a mustard garlic topping and mashed potato hush puppies in a plum barbecue sauce. Yummy.


On our second visit, John asked if we could feed Dennis his food. They said yes and gave him this bowl of food for us to feed our little guy. We think it is called zeppikanka------it had cottage cheese, eggs, sugar, and raisins baked to perfection in a sweet milk sauce. To Dennis it was delicious, to John who I dared to try it, it was the last bite he will ever have of this Ukrainian delight.

During one of our two visits, Dennis filled his pants. While under normal circumstances I wouldn't be so excited, I was this time because I had the opportunity to watch one of his caretakers change him (and see the rest of his body for the first time). She laid him on the changing table and turned on the faucet next to it. While the water was warming, she wiped his bottom with the rest of the diaper the best she could. Dennis patiently kept his legs in the air as to not mess up the changing table until the water was warm. The caretaker then took off his shoes and socks and proceeded to wash Dennis under the running water. She lathered up her hands and washed his whole lower body clean. And he loved it! And I got to help put on a fresh diaper---- a size two--- which was still a little too big.

Tomorrow is court and so we will update you then. Pray, pray, pray. Oh, and we'll post lots of pictures!

Shoes at the end of the rainbow

Dennis has a cute little tummy (with a button nose) if I do say so myself. :) And hopefully it is only getting bigger with each visit. In the morning he wolfs down a big mashed up banana and in the afternoon we give him a whole jar of baby food. We are so tempted to sneak in some kasha (rice cereal).

On one of our walks outside today we saw this play pen dressed with a blanket and bumper pad. It is so big, I could have taken a nice nap in it.

I think it was for a child that was having a lot of family members visit them.

This tree has a kind of flower that almost looks like cotton. It was very pretty.

After our morning visit we went walking around with the two other adopting couples. They are very, very nice and though they are not from America, the Israel couple speaks very good English and the Spanish couple is able to communicate with John pretty good. They informed us that the other Spanish couple that was here adopting a little girl changed their mind and went back to Kyiv for another appt because they got scared. I know I shouldn't judge, but what are they scared of..... a cute, little girl? My heart is broken for this little girl who after spending time with a couple who she already was beginning to come to know as Mama and Papa for the last three or so days is now left having to try to understand why they are no longer visiting her anymore. I probably should have more compassion for this couple, but what about this little girl? I just wish the decision could have been made much sooner before the little girl had a chance to realize what was going on.

Moving off my soapbox, we had a wonderful time getting to know these wonderful parents to be, and enjoyed a delicious yet very inexpensive lunch at Premier Elite Cafe.

A beautiful flying green beetle joined us.

We had a good laugh as we compared keys to our apartments. And we found some wonderful things for Dennis that we bought.

At 6pm today as we were walking home, Kramatorsk had a huge downpour.


Then our Heavenly Father gifted us with a gorgeous rainbow.


And I was so happy that we found shoes for Dennis that I feel like I found the (imaginary) pot of gold at the end of rainbow. They are size 13---probably equivalent to a size 2 in America. Oh, and did I mention that they were only 25 grivna?

Aren't they adorable?

Probably sounds strange but it feels good to finally have your child wear something that you have provided for them instead of everything being from the orphanage.

Monday, June 30

I am feeling much better thank you. I ate some Activa yogurt in hopes that it would help and when all of you commented about it, I went out and got some more. I am definitely doing much better than yesterday's post.

We got to Dennis' orphanage at 9 am sharp and we only had to wait 10 minutes for them to get him ready.

Everyday he is becoming more and more curious. It is wonderful to see that the same things do not continually entertain him--- that he is interested in exploring his surroundings. Today Dennis showed us how strong he was by tossing around this full water bottle.

He wanted to play with this swing, but not for very long. During the morning visit, we took him
outside for a longer period of time. Dennis loves to watch the other kids play. Good thing because this afternoon, Kramatorsk got some rain.

Here is a picture of a woman doing laundry at the orphanage. With around 120 kids you would think that they would be doing laundry everyday, but they don't. It also appears that they only diaper the children that are being adopted because they ask the parents to buy diapers. In Dennis' room is a little girl probably not older than 3 months and everytime we come to get Dennis, I peak through the window to get a glimspe of her and she is lying in her crib naked from the waste down. It is pretty warm in the orphanage so don't worry about whether or not she is cold, but her tiny little cry is enough to make your heart ache. A couple of times that I have peaked in on her she was rooting because her arm had gotten free from her swaddle and it kept hitting her mouth. So cute, but oh so sad. But, I can blog about that on another day.

Here is the trash truck that I was telling you about. A man dressed way too nice for his job manuevers the levers to lift the trash can while a woman comes behind him and sweeps up all of the trash that is left behind. I hope that sometimes they take turns doing each others job.

This is a porch leading up to the inside of an apartment building that is under construction. I bet it will be this way for weeks if not months. This was how many of the bridges that we needed to cross to get to Kramatorsk from Kyiv looked. No detour, no notice, just drive until you realize that you are about to enter dangerous territory.


Today we went looking for shoes for Dennis at the big bazaar. Couldn't find any. :( I may just have to stuff the shoes I brought for him.

Lots of vendors were selling beautiful flowers. It smelled so good walking through this aisle.
One vendor was selling these paintings. I love the third one with all the bears playing.

On the way back to our apartment, I took some pictures. I don't know how these shops stay open. It is not like they were hustling with customers...... and today is a holiday.

Mannequins in Ukraine? No way! Hey doesn't that one on the left look a lot like my husband?

Trying to stay upbeat here......... got some disappointing news. The judge called our facilitator and told us that because he has so many criminal cases tomorrow he has moved our courtdate to Thursday. We just have to trust that God has a plan. Now if only those plans include getting our 10 days waived.

Sunday in Kramatorsk

Another day with Dennis. Each day he is more and more happy to see us. His poor eye was quite crusty and we know he cries when he has it cleaned out. I was not brave enough to be the one to do it. I better toughen up soon. Somehow I think that having warm water poured over his head in a nice bath will naturally clean out his eye. I have the feeling that they rarely bathe the kids here.

This is a close up of the art on the walls of the orphanage. Yes, it is on styrofoam backing.

Here is a beautiful wood carving of a mother and child.


On the walk home we passed this building.

Here is a close up of the first floor apartment.

This would be my mom's house if she lived in Ukraine. She loves plants and flowers.

Here is some cute sidewalk art drawn with chalk. I bet you didn't think they did that in Ukraine, did you?

And here is some not so nice graffiti art. Funny how it is all in English.

We had leftover chicken that we were getting rid of so we thought the cats might like it.

We were right.

On one of our walks today we passed an old man sifting through trash for recyclables. We will definitely be saving our bottles until the next time we see him.

The other 10%

Probably up until now you have gotten the picture in your mind that our adoption journey and Ukraine has been nothing but glorious and wonderful. Hey, honestly 90% of this journey has been, but to leave you with the impression that our our trip, my feelings about Ukraine, and my feelings for my son have been a fairy tale would not be fair. As with everything I have had a few up and down moments.

First off, I think I am sick. Not sure if it is a stomach bug or an actual parasite, but something is upsetting my stomach with continual diarrhea. This is more information than you want to hear, I'm sure, but I think it is important to accept the possibility of this happening to you if you travel to another country. While my tummy doesn't feel very good, I guess there is always an upside. Who knows, at this rate, I may be 10 or 15 pounds lighter when I get home.

Ukraine is really a wonderful country........ I feel more at home here than I did when I was in Russia a couple of years back. This may be because I have done this once before, or maybe because I am able to keep in touch with friends and family through email and this blog. It may also be that this part of Ukraine is less intimidating (Moscow was huge) yet more technologically advanced. Is this possible? We have visited stores that resemble Wal-Marts, have seen more handicap/stroller accessible ramps around here, and have seen evidence that some sort of trash system is in place here. In Russia, they simply burned their trash.

However, there are things about Ukraine that make me feel a little bit uncomfortable like the foul smelling stairwells that lead up to our apartment. While the apartment itself is very nice, as soon as you walk out the door into the common stairwell you might as well be in a bad part of town. It has flies, trash, and graffiti, and smells of urine with occasional spots on the ground indicating that some drunkard had peed in the corner. Not very pleasant.

The mentality of people in this country never cease to amaze me. In this country you can call your own ambulance and request your own concoction of pain-killing sedatives and antibiotics without a doctor, yet you can't sit on a wall because it will cause sickness in your bones. You better believe that I have gotten some rude glares because I have taken a load off my feet and sat down on a wall.

When ordering at a restaurant it would be best if you could bring your own condiments like butter, ketchup, etc. because these things will not be offered to you and for sure they will not be free. Everything is a la carte and many times the price that is printed on the menu is per kilogram, not for the whole item on the menu. We learned this one afternoon when we took our facilitator and driver out for lunch. We thought our bill would be around 150 grivna and it ended up being 231 grivna. Also, water is not free---- ever! But at least you don't have to pay to use the restroom.

There is a unique smell to Ukraine, that you eventually get used to, but if you have a sensitive nose, you best breathe through your mouth. Don't worry, it grows on you.

The smell in the orphanage however is hard to get used too. I love it when the smell of food is in the air to mask the true-lying smell of it...... that is soaked into Dennis' clothes and hair. While he has a sweet baby smell about him, that I admit is probably more of a figment of my imagination, I long for the day that I can take him out of here and give him a bath and put him in the clothes that we brought for him.

Everything about Dennis is perfect, at least in our eyes, but we are allowed to do only so much with him. Like I mentioned earlier, there are so many senseless rules here that John and I feel unable to parent Dennis in the way that we want. They don't want his shoes and socks off, we can't feed him hardly anything, we can never be too careful with how we hold him (as if we are going to drop him), we can't take him to certain places of the orphanage for fear of germs, we have to feed him a certain way, and we are not allowed to tuck him back into his crib after visits. It makes no sense to us........but because this is their country and they supposedly know him best, then we will follow their rules until he is officially ours! Maybe longer if they don't waive the 10 days.

This orphanage appears to have both healthy and special needs children. Like our initial visit with Anna and Sveta at the orphanage we were not sat down and given the details of Dennis' medical until we asked. To us, it doesn't matter what they tell us because we still want our son no matter what they say, but admittedly I am curious to see what they have to say. I guess we'll know everything they want us to know once we have the translated court documents.

I hope none of this has discouraged anyone thinking of adopting from Ukraine from doing so, nor did I intend to offend anyone who has been to Ukraine and has a diferent view. I just wanted to share my perspective on things as honestly as I possibly could.

Did I mention that one time I opened the door of a gas station bathroom and it was full of flying moths that swarmed around me while I did my business? Not three or four mind you......closer to three or four hundred all attracted to the light. I felt like I was in the scene of a horror movie.

Sorry to seem like such high maintenence. Spoiled by America.

Saturday, June 28 in Kramatorsk

Today is the first day that we are on our own. Nothing to do except visit Dennis. How nice. After some coffee and cereal we headed for the orphanage, but decided to take a different way and explore a bit.

Here are the beautiful wild flowers I was telling you about. I don't think anyone out here owns a lawn mower, but there are wild floweres and planted flowers everywhere.

I think this is part of a school track and field playground.

Someone asked me if there were women joggers in Ukraine. Yes, there are and here is one to prove it!

This has got to be a school. We couldn't think what else it could be. Funny how the fence has a 1 1/2 foot gap at the bottom---- looks like kids could sneak out easily.

I took this picture because I thought it was good to see a man helping out around the house. Here he is beating out a big red rug.

On the way to Dennis' room, I got a sneak peak of what appears to be the orphanage kitchen. Wonderful smells of eggs and compote filled the air.

The nurses gave us a banana to feed Dennis for the third time in a row. Pour guy probably eats nothing but bananas here in the orphanage. We bought him Mango puree, Strawberry puree, rice cereal, and yogurt. They wouldn't let us feed him anything except for the food in the baby jar. They said he can't have it ------ yet the baby food had yogurt in it. Go figure. Having been through this with Anna and Sveta we thought to ourselves, "That's what you think. When he is out of here we are going to give it all to him!"


We decided to explore the orphanage and found this cool room with a big bird cage. Dennis couldn't take his eyes off of the colorful, singing birds.

Dennis is trusting us more and more each day and enjoys going on walks with us. In the beginning he was a little hesitant to go with us but he now knows that we are not strangers. We are his Mamotchka and Papithcka!

John sure knows how to tire out Dennis. Here they are taking a break.

We broke one of the biggest no-no's here at the orphanage by taking off his socks. Shhhh- don't tell nobody. Would they have preferred that we keep his socks on and let him slip and fall as he was holding on to things and walking around? Socks are slippery on wood floors. Plus, I wanted another chance to look at his cute little feet.

Towards the end of both visits, we took Dennis outside for a walk. He is very sensitive to the light and appreciated the hat that we brought for him. After a while, he fell asleep in our arms. To us, it is a sign of trust. I wouldn't want to fall asleep in the arms of someone who I didn't trust. Would you? Also, two days ago, I don't think he would have.

Today we washed a small load of clothes.

Ladies, this is the size of washing machines in Ukraine. And there are no dryers, even in more lavish apartments which ours is considered to be.

And last but not least, here I am hanging out our clothes to dry.

As I close, I wanted to share that I decided to try kefir. I mixed it with the cherry compote and it was very yummy, kind of like a yogurt drink. Thanks for the suggestion.

Again, I am so blessed by all of your comments. At the end of the day, I come over to the computer to read them and suddenly feel as if I am not so far from America. Thank you. We miss you kids and hope you are being good! Oh and Anna, it is not nice to say be quiet to an adult. I hope you told your sister that.