Trip catchup...

Inna out. Dennis sleeping for the night after another couple jars of food! And I'm not tired so here's an update...
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It all started here...
The "go straight city" on the sign below in English would be prounounced "Slovansk" and is the little town where Dennis was born, not too far from the town of the orphanage.


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Before I left, people asked me to try and capture on film his first expression of our reuniting. It was a grin even if you can't see it through the glass, which because of "normal quarantine", they said I couldn't pass through.


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This, a better quality photo, of them putting on his first Reed outfit taken a few minutes later.

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And this bittersweet picture was taken right before "final" goodbyes were exchanged. I sensed her sadness and sincerity that she will miss him but is happy for him.

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I think this one is the first taken of the 2 of us before heading to the airport right outside the orphanage. Thanks again Gerardo and Laura for the chocolates!!! They were delicious (sorry kids and Christine).

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And this is one of us on his first plane ride! He was amazing. Only "loudness" for other passengers was an occasional shrieky laugh!!!

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But enough of yesterday!
Today had a cool victory of a daytime nap:



This allowed for me to enjoy a restful lunch that Inna cooked in her apartment called "macaroni paFlotah" (or something like that) meaning, she said, "Navy macaroni"...but it was delicious salty pork and onions over pasta with sourcream. I'm not doing it justice here, but I really enjoyed it.
And this photo captured the essence of Inna too, "always busy working." But what a great job she does...

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...as this was a celebratory meal because of the below being done and in my hands!
That is Dennis's newer visa page of his new passport and the sealed Immigration packet that can only be opened in the U.S. by customs officials. His U.S. citizenship immediately would take effect and his SSN process gets started too!



A good day. Thanks for all your prayers! It's late Wed night now and we have an early Friday morning flight...

Introducing Dennis Jack Reed!!!

Today was apparently a good day. After all, we had our court date, and he's our son now. Our coordinator had even "won over" the heart of the judge and jury to waive our 10 days...
But this is never waived and has never been waived in Kramatorsk. Even now. The heart, or lack of such, of the prosecutor was not won over. He essentially said that if the judge ruled illegally to pursue with the "immediate decision", then we would be fighting the prosecutor for the next few MONTHS. He was against it the whole time and logic and reason and compassion was not going to pursuade him.
Nevertheless, Dennis is ours and we can show his pictures now and so here are a few...
As to what exactly the next few days and weeks look like, we aren't certain yet--we are waiting to see if tickets to Kiev are available, flight date changes, etc. But it is entirely possible that we are going to return immediately (as soon as practical that is) to home in California to relieve family and friends that have been holding down the fort as well as to get John back to work. John may have to take another week off mid July to return to Ukraine to get Dennis.
But none of this is certain yet and we'll keep options open and communicated later as known...

This is an early one of him and the balls from the ball pit that always made him smile.

This is a good one of the three of us...

Checking to hear Dad's heart beat...

Napping in mama's arms after a great long nature walk...

Ditto but dad's arms this time...

And the star of this blog!!!
--JR

I can't sleep

Here it is almost 1am. and I am still awake. I just can't sleep. Is that normal? I'm sure it is normal, but I find myself filled with all the excitement of a first time parent, and it has got me racing with thoughts nonstop. I have to remind myself that I am only going to Ukraine to adopt a little boy, but then I think, "I AM GOING TO UKRAINE TO ADOPT MY LITTLE BOY!"

It is finally happening, God is in control, and I need to remember that in all that I do. He has been with me in more ways than I can count, even when I have yelled at my kids, failed again to open my bible for over three days, or barked at my husband to do this or do that in preparation for our trip. Seems silly, but in all God's grace, he even kept my windshield free from bug guts as I ran more errands today with all 10 kids in tow. Remember, I had it washed yesterday, only the third time this year, and I would love for it to stay clean until friends and family use it.

I've made a photo album, packed most of our stuff, visited a second bank to get the newest looking bills I could find, and even managed to spend quality time swimming and going for a walk with my kids. Praise God. Not to brag, but I've even managed to drop 7 pounds since I found out we were leaving.... and we aren't even in Ukraine yet. I guess having less than three weeks notice and preparing to leave a family of 10 behind while you travel to a different country will do that to you.

I've started having vivid dreams about Dennis........ the first time meeting him and smelling his sweet skin as I hold him close for the first time, watching him play with his brothers, watching his excitement because of our dog Dolly. All these dreams are so good but are often followed with me waking up late on the day we are to leave. Argh! I hate it when that happens. I probably keep waking up like that because I don't have a watch that works. I should probably go and buy one between now and Saturday.

Anyway, I am finally getting tired. Probably from all that rambling I just did. (I think I used the P word probably three times in the last three sentences.)

Good night.

It is really happening!

You know how you wait for so long for the moment to finally come when you hear, "It is time to go get your child?" Well, if your like me you have probably been longing for the day, and for us, Thank God the day came yesterday. But now my impatience has turned into panic/craziness/feeling overwhelmed/scatterbrained/unfocused. Honestly, I think the waiting might have been easier. LOL. Anyway, I am trusting for God to not stop now as he continues to lead us down this path, but boy, do I have to stop and remind myself numerous times a day that He is still the one in control.

I have to remember that He will still provide. With things now going full speed, I often find myself questioning him. Lord, how are we going to find good tickets in such short notice? Will they give us Dennis' referral? Will I be able to handle being away from my kids for so long? What about all of the adoption costs? I thought we had more time to come up with all of the funds. Just the other day, I received a comment that basically told us that if we fund raised or asked for donations we shouldn't be adopting in the first place. This can't be true, can it? I mean, we have the money to raise Dennis, and seek medical attention for him, but pulling $20 grand out of a hat is a bit challenging for us, I admit. Plus, I honestly believe that for some, it is a blessing for them to be able to help a family who wants to open their home to a child through adoption. At least it has been for us at other times in our lives.

Honestly, I am making a fresh commitment to my Lord today. No more doubting. He is in control, he has answered our prayers numerous times throughout our journey thus far, and He is not going to stop now. I don't expect other people to get it, like this one anonymous commenter, but I know that those of you that I consider my friends, do. May God bless you for that as you have blessed me.

A miracle

I can't believe all the different things that I have heard about Ukraine right now. No two families seem to be having the same experience. Many families have been having successful SDA appointments while others are coming home empty handed because they weren't shown healthy children. Even amongst all of this uncertainty, I know that God has our child picked out for us. I just know it. And though I can't stand all of this uncertainty, it is kind of exciting because whatever happens next to get our adoption moving will be nothing short of a miracle. And who doesn't want to witness a miracle?

Anxious

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting is so very hard. It takes a great deal of patience. I'm a get er' done kind of girl, so when something is put in the hands of another person, it is hard to not expect them to just get er' done too!

Of course, I am talking about our dossier. Don't get me wrong, I know it is in good hands, but just like any family waiting to adopt, I want to know every detail and why things can't be done ten times faster than the rate they are getting done.

And then before I know it, he will be here, and our adoption will be a thing of the past. And there will be no more waiting because he will be here.

A child's angel

My mom sent me this poem. Since we are waiting for our "newborn" it touched me to think that I will be able to help our new child with all of these things.

A newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to behappy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweetest words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

''Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, "You will simply call her, Mom."

How special is this?

Remember the list of things to take to Ukraine that I previously posted? Well, thanks to Charissa and her wonderful heart and story, I have decided to add this to my list.




P.S. Their story is one that truly touches my heart. God bless them and their little girl Ava.

Two trips

I'm not sure I have shared this or not. When we go to Ukraine we are planning on making two trips. There is just no way we can be gone for 5 or 6 weeks straight. In addition to that little bit of info, I will probably be making that second trip alone. I was really reluctant to even think about this possibility until I found out that Nataliya and Tami were traveling alone. They are so inspiring and each day I read more and more about their trip, I keep thinking to myself, "I can do that."

I just hope that I travel at the same time as somebody else that I have gotten to know in the blogging/adoption community, and that maybe we can hook up for lunch or something.

It could happen.

Let's Pray

As the time gets closer to the day that we will eventually travel, I find myself including our son in my prayers with the kids more and more. It is sweet how one of them (once in a while) will actually remind me that I didn't pray for him that night.

"Mom, you fawgot to pway for owr baby bwother," Andrew has told me before.

"Mommy, don't forget about our new baby. Maybe if we pray, he will come quicker," Anna will tell me.

Aw, my dear Anna. If only that were true. Maybe if we all pray for our children to come home, it will make a difference. I have heard that praying in numbers is similar to moving mountains.

Come on everybody, whether you are adopting from Ukraine, Russia, Guatemala, Haiti, Columbia, Africa, or even right here in the US, take a moment and say a little prayer for your precious child waiting for you in a faraway land.

Matthew 18:20 (NIV)
"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

List of Russian Names (in no particular order)

1. Pavel (Pasha)
2. Naum (Nome-chick)
3. Anton (Antonska)
4. Nikolai (Kolya and Nikolinchka)
5. Konstantin (Kostya)
6. Danil
7. Misha
8. Alexy (Alyosha)
9. Igor
10. Evgenii
11. Bogdan
12. Dima
13. Vitaly
14. Vladimir
15. Sasha
16. Artom
17. Ivan
18 Oleg
19. ???
20. ???

Thanks everyone for contributing. I would be okay with almost any of these names.

Why can't I think of just 2 more Russian boy names to make it an even 20 list? Probably because I am still a little delirious from the pain of my sprained ankle. First thought when I fell and twisted it was, "Oh my gosh! I'm going to Ukraine with a cast on!" Thankfully, I don't think I broke it.

BTW, still no I-600 approval yet. I wonder if expecting it by the end of January is too optimistic? Anybody traveling in Spring?

Russian Names

I have been thinking. I keep trying to guess what the name of our little guy will be. Misha, Sasha, Ivan, Artom, Danil, Dimas..... it is so fun going through the list of Russian names.

This time around, we are open to changing his name because he will be so young, but I don't know if we even want to. We certainly don't have a name picked out for him ahead of time. I guess if his name was one that I didn't like, well then maybe, but I can't even think of a name that I wouldn't care for. Oh well, it's kind of early to be worrying about the name game anyways.

But, out of curiosity, what is or was the name of your child when you first met him or her?

What inspires you?

I was recently asked why I am inspired to adopt yet again, and with the same enthusiasm as a first time parent. I guess I just love children, think they add so much to this world, and feel that each child deserves as much enthusiasm as let's say, a first child would get. Where some parents feel exhausted at the end of the day, my children literally energize me. My adopted children, complete with whatever issues they may have, energize me even more.

I seriously welcome whatever challenges they bring, because everything is a learning experience. If I could learn to become more compassionate, patient, forgiving, loving....... and a better teacher and servant to the Lord, and in the process be giving a deserving child a family and home, I don't know why I wouldn't be inspired to keep doing what I am doing.

I look at it this way. I....... I mean we, are raising the future generation of our country, and there are not many things that I can think of doing that trump that.

We are not rich, but we live more extravagant than most of the people on this earth do, and adoption is a wonderful way of sharing what we have with another precious living person. When I think of adoption costs, yeah sure I wish they were free, and I can't quite understand why adoptions cost so much, but what better thing to spend our money on? Others might say, a nicer car, bigger house, fancier vacations, and such, but I just don't think those are the treasures that God is talking about storing up in heaven.

Matthew 6:19-20 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

As of now, I am storing up 10 precious lives in heaven, well worth their weight in gold. Pretty soon it will be eleven. If all of us could spread the word, and touch people's hearts enough to put the desire in their heart to want to adopt too, then just think of how much gold would be stored up in heaven.

From over at SmilesandTrials

Not much to update you with. Nothing in the mail.... still.

But, I did post on my other blog, and rather than repost it here, I just thought I'd give you the link. Why? You might be wondering. As I was writing about my little boy Jonny when he was six months old, I kept thinking about our soon to be new son, and how since he will be so much younger than our girls at the time of adoption, I will be able to do a lot of the things that I didn't get to do with them. Anyways, just thought I'd share, that's all.

Update

Still no word from Immigration. I guess the 10 days didn't include holidays. Hopefully, the letter will come by the end of this coming week.

Just wanted to update you that I heard that the quotas for 2008 have changed. It seems like the quotas for the specific age groups won't apply after all. I guess that means that more than 32 children under 6 years of age can be adopted from Ukraine by U.S. Americans. Woo-hoo!

Expecting

Last night, I had a very dear friend come and visit me. It was so nice to sit down and catch up with her. I was missing her. At one time about 9 years back, we were very close since she lived right next to me, but we had drifted apart all these years since she got married and moved away.

Still, she still holds a special place in my heart, and yesterday we got catch up like long lost friends, and boy, did it feel nice. Half way through our conversation, she told me that she was expecting again. I was very happy for her, as she told me her plans to have a home birth (which is just awesome) and everything, but a part of me is envious of the fact that even though she is only a couple of months pregnant, she knows exactly where her child is, and is already able to do everything in her power to nourish, protect, nurture, and love her child. What a blessing.

Boy, did I take this for granted when I was pregnant. I'm not sure I even thought about what a blessing it is to carry a child each and every second while it is growing inside you, and then be able to be with him from the moment that he is born. When our children come to us through adoption, we have no choice but to leave the nourishing, protecting, nurturing, and loving up to someone else until the day comes that they finally join our family.

Today, I am feeling that this day can't come soon enough. I wonder if our child to be has gotten a hug today?

Off to be Apostilled!

I had 11 of our documents notarized on Friday and mailed them off to the Secretary of States Office in Sacramento this morning to get apostilled. Yeah!!!

So why was it so hard for me to let go of that precious, yellow, certified, manila envelope and hand it over to the post office clerk? I know better than to worry about it getting lost, but I couldn't help it. I keep telling myself that I have to just trust that it is going to come back to me in the pre-paid self addressed envelope that I included.

Don't worry, I'm over it already.

I emailed my local Congressman a very nice letter, asking if he could help speed things along for us. He just had a baby himself and so I am hoping that he will be able to relate to our situation and how frustrating it is to have to wait without any specific timeline. I just feel that with the new 2008 quota, our paperwork needs to get over there as soon as possible.

Hey, at least we are not at a complete standstill like many families waiting to adopt from China. Don't even get me started on that....... I feel so sad for them. There is just no reason that makes real sense to me as to why it takes so long to adopt a child. Doesn't anyone else feel that a child's precious life just ticking away in an orphanage should me minimized in every way possible. After all, it is their childhood that is literally being robbed from them. It just isn't fair.

I don't want to be a slave

Have any of you been following Tami's blog? I am totally in awe of what they are choosing to do, and I believe that God will bless them because of their decision. Her comment, "The real challenge of international adoption is avoiding becoming a slave to your circumstances," hit me hard. Isn't this so true? Here they choose to go see a three year old little girl, that they later find out she just had surgery so they won't be able to visit her for at least a week. They get to go back to the SDA which is no small feat in itself, and can easily choose to go visit another child and keep on with the process, but instead they decide to put things on hold while this little girl heals so that they can still go meet her instead.

How many of us would have chosen to go meet another child because it would have been quicker and just plain easier to do? I think that I might have, if I am honest with myself. Yet, that would have made me a slave to the whole process rather than taking the time to do what I felt my heart was telling me. I would have convinced myself that this was God's plan for us to choose another child or else this little girl would have been available for us to see. I would have convinced myself that it was in every one's best interest including my children at home, for us to take the quickest route possible, when in fact I may have been altering God's plan.

So thank you Tami, for giving me much to think about as we continue our adoption journey.

2008 Quotas for Ukraine

Children under 6 available to ENTIRE U.S. is ONLY 32 children!!!.
Ages 6-9 - 83 adoptions
Ages over 10 - 115 adoptions
Siblings with one of children under 6 - 92 adoptions
Siblings over 6 - 138 adoptions
TOTAL - 460 children

What have you heard? What do you think? Does this include children with special needs, children over age 13, and siblings of children already adopted and here in the US?

I guess it doesn't really matter, because it is pretty sad that Ukraine even has a quota.

I had a dream

Last night I had the most wonderful dream. I didn't want to wake up.

Last night, I dreamt that John and I were in Ukraine. The warm sun was peeking in the cracked window between the tree branches. We were visiting with another American couple who was also adopting. I was sitting on the couch with our little boy covering his face with a blanket to shield him from the sunlight that was magnified through the crack in the window. He was warm and cozy, his blue eyes closed, almost asleep............... and nursing.

The quiet sound of him suckling was like sweet music to my ears.

For anyone that has had the experience of nursing their precious, cherub like child, I'm sure you know exactly what I am talking about. There is something so natural, so innocent, nothing short of the way God intended for our precious little babies to be fed.

The only problem with the scenario is that my son will be adopted. Since I will not have given birth to this child, my body will not have made the hormones needed to produce milk. Secondly, my son will not be a newborn. He will most likely be drinking from a cup or at the very least a bottle. The desire to suckle harder when he will be used to the easier flow of a bottle, will not be there. I do not know if a child can be taught how to nurse after they have been fed with a bottle for so long. Thirdly, I've had a hysterectomy.......so if the other reasons for not nursing worked themselves out, I'm not sure my body could even be jump started into producing milk if my body is unable to make the right hormones needed to lactate......... even if just a little.

It is all so overwhelming.

Until now, I couldn't think of one downside to adopting. But, not being able to nurse my baby is so sad to me.

I have adopted before, but they were older and so I never gave nursing a serious thought with my daughters. One of of my daughters did though. When you think about it.....that is even sadder. Don't get me wrong, my daughters are so much better off having us now, even after missing out on so much in their early life, but that doesn't change the grieving that I as their mama now goes through for them because they missed out on the closeness that nursing provides. Their body being cuddled in their mama's arms, their face having skin on skin contact, being familiar with the smell of their mama, and the eye to eye contact that reassures them that it is okay to fall asleep......... is something they will have to grow up without ever having experienced. To me, that is something to grieve.

Come to think of it, have any of our adopted children ever had the pleasure and closeness of being held and cuddled by their mama while nursing from her breast?

Even though it wasn't from my breast that my adopted daughters have suckled from, I'd like to think that they did get that opportunity with their birth mothers.

Though, I am pretty sure that the only way I am going to be able to nurse my new son is in my dreams, I believe that God will open other doors for us to experience that same kind of intimacy between that of mother and her nursing child.

Still I will miss the chance to nurse my little baby boy. And I will miss the opportunity to show my older adopted daughters just how beautiful and intimate nursing your baby can be.