Last night, I had a very dear friend come and visit me. It was so nice to sit down and catch up with her. I was missing her. At one time about 9 years back, we were very close since she lived right next to me, but we had drifted apart all these years since she got married and moved away.
Still, she still holds a special place in my heart, and yesterday we got catch up like long lost friends, and boy, did it feel nice. Half way through our conversation, she told me that she was expecting again. I was very happy for her, as she told me her plans to have a home birth (which is just awesome) and everything, but a part of me is envious of the fact that even though she is only a couple of months pregnant, she knows exactly where her child is, and is already able to do everything in her power to nourish, protect, nurture, and love her child. What a blessing.
Boy, did I take this for granted when I was pregnant. I'm not sure I even thought about what a blessing it is to carry a child each and every second while it is growing inside you, and then be able to be with him from the moment that he is born. When our children come to us through adoption, we have no choice but to leave the nourishing, protecting, nurturing, and loving up to someone else until the day comes that they finally join our family.
Today, I am feeling that this day can't come soon enough. I wonder if our child to be has gotten a hug today?
Forever Changed
16 years ago
13 comments:
It is hard leaving your children in the hands of someone else. It is so hard knowing that the first part of their lives wasn't with you. You couldn't rock them, give them hugs and kisses, cuddle, and do all the things that you could with your other children from the start. We just have to know that when they come home to us that we can give them that from now on. Even though we feel we have missed so much, we just have to show them love when they are with us and continue to give it to them always. It is hard for me knowing that the fist 12 years of my son's life was probably not very good. I would never want any of my children going through what Grisha probably has gone through. But, I can turn it all around and give him a better life when he comes home. Thanks, Christine. Thank you for this reminder of the things we take for granted.
Thank you for this post. I feel the same way, that it's hard to leave the care and nurturing of our children to someone else. Just knowing that someone else has to give up a child so we can love and raise him or her is humbling and so sad. I know that God has His plans in how He gives us children, and we're overjoyed to finally be onboard, but sometimes I wonder who our children would have been had we been able to conceive and bear them. I pray that we can start the adoption process next year and follow you to Ukraine!
Debby, that is so awesome to hear! I can't wait to follow your journey. :)
It is the most difficult thing isn't it? It was so difficult not knowing where our child was and how she was doing. Now that we have met Maddie, it's even harder...because we know. Hang in there...your time is coming. And when he or she is finally here, you'll have all kinds of time to give her all the love and attention she needs. ((hugs))
I have often thought these things as well. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are right that it is so different having that time with them from the very beginning.
Yes, I laid awake many nights wondering if our son was happy, healthy and being cared for. I found the adoption poem "kisses in the wind" on line and it became mine as we waited to go and get him. It also reminded me of how much I truly had to rely on God to provide for him, just like my bio kids! Pray a blessing tonight for your child's caretakers and orphanage director! We are praying for you too!
What a great post! I find myself thinking often if someone is taking good care of this child-of-mine-to-be. And yes, I wonder if he has been given a hug today too! :-)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts...I always like to read your posts!
It is so hard wondering how our children are doing.
Thanks for this reminder of those things we often take for granted.
Hang in there!
I don't know how I found your blog. Probably sometime today while I should have been doing something productive instead of being a "blog lurker."
Anyway, yesterday I held a newborn baby, like less than a day old, in my arms for the first time. I have two sons through adoption so the experience was very special. I was very envious of my friends for all the reasons you stated.
It is hard to imagine any child, especially your own, not being nourished or hugged today. It is heartbreaking but know you are doing everything you can to get to your son and God will watch over him until you are able to hug him.
I know the feeling about wanting to know if your child has been held or loved each day. We can keep praying they have. Hang in there - we'll be home with our babies soon.
Thanks for commenting on my blog and for this post. Adopting from the foster care system, I can also relate in that I think of those early months/years when I *would* have been cherishing them and their birth parents clearly did not. It breaks my heart. Hopefully we can make up some of that lost ground. But having to live with the effects of early neglect, I want to take out ads in the paper for people who have babies and don't cherish them and love them and HOLD them while they are feeding them and tell them...bring that baby to me. He NEEDS that to thrive...
Oh here I go on my soapbox!
Anyway, glad I found your blog and will be praying and following your story!
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