You know how you wait for so long for the moment to finally come when you hear, "It is time to go get your child?" Well, if your like me you have probably been longing for the day, and for us, Thank God the day came yesterday. But now my impatience has turned into panic/craziness/feeling overwhelmed/scatterbrained/unfocused. Honestly, I think the waiting might have been easier. LOL. Anyway, I am trusting for God to not stop now as he continues to lead us down this path, but boy, do I have to stop and remind myself numerous times a day that He is still the one in control.
I have to remember that He will still provide. With things now going full speed, I often find myself questioning him. Lord, how are we going to find good tickets in such short notice? Will they give us Dennis' referral? Will I be able to handle being away from my kids for so long? What about all of the adoption costs? I thought we had more time to come up with all of the funds. Just the other day, I received a comment that basically told us that if we fund raised or asked for donations we shouldn't be adopting in the first place. This can't be true, can it? I mean, we have the money to raise Dennis, and seek medical attention for him, but pulling $20 grand out of a hat is a bit challenging for us, I admit. Plus, I honestly believe that for some, it is a blessing for them to be able to help a family who wants to open their home to a child through adoption. At least it has been for us at other times in our lives.
Honestly, I am making a fresh commitment to my Lord today. No more doubting. He is in control, he has answered our prayers numerous times throughout our journey thus far, and He is not going to stop now. I don't expect other people to get it, like this one anonymous commenter, but I know that those of you that I consider my friends, do. May God bless you for that as you have blessed me.
Forever Changed
16 years ago
35 comments:
sorry that you received that comment. I think that almost no one is able to come up with the thousands of dollars it costs to adopt. If there were that many families waiting in line to adopt children - especially those with special needs - then there wouldn't be children like this languishing in orphanages - there may or may not be another family who would choose Dennis. Your choice to allow others to help you doesn't prevent others from adopting - and you having a large family consisting of bio and adopted children and going for one more doesn't prevent others from adopting. this argument bothers me. It usually means that it is someone who has decided they can not adopt because they (in their own mind) have decided they cannot afford it - and are unable to ask others for some help. We all come to the decisions based on our ability to accept risk and it is independent of others.
Christine, that is an incredibly ignorant comment. Perhaps that person hasn't read these passages,
James 1:27:
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
or
James 2:14-16
Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
or
Psalm 68:5
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.
or
Passage Matthew 25:37-40
...'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'
Orphans are at the heart of the Father. Jesus says over and over again in his word to look after orphans. Notice, that He never once commands us to take care of orphans only if we have lots of money, or not very many children already. Now, granted, He does not call everyone to adopt but He does ask us all to be involved in some way.
I don't know what that person was thinking about Jesus when they wrote that comment. But, without a doubt you are doing exactly
what Jesus would do!
Go, go, go girl! You are being called by God Almighty to rescue a helpless little miracle of Jesus into your wonderful family.
God is going to reveal Himself to you in ways you could never imagine! He is already in Ukraine making the way for you there! And He will be with you every step of the way to get there. Even when you don't sense Him, He is there. He will give you everything you need exactly when you need it. His timing is absolutely perfect.
I will certainly be praying for you, for your faith, and your confidence and your encouragement. As you depend on Jesus more and more He will shower you with His grace and mercy. As my dear, adopting friend recently encouraged me, the Lord delights in the impossible. It is His specialty! Remember that as you move forward and feel overwhelmed at all that is ahead. God is in Ukraine and He's waiting for you!
Ugh. Why are people so insensitive like that? If everyone thought that way there would be SO many more orphans left behind. We had many people who would never adopt but they believed in what we were doing and volunteered to help. I'm glad there are more people like THAT in the world.
go into your settings and put that anonymous cant post comments. Thats what I did when I got a rude one. These are all our own blogs, so we can do what we want, BUT if we dont agree and feel strongly (like I have a time or two. hehe) then we should live up to posting with our own ID. and try very hard to not make it mean,just that someone may not agree with you. No one said everyone has to agree. Blogs help us all learn and understand another point of view. They also help us each to grow. Anonymous only hurts people.
Christine,
We're praying for you as your family is getting everything ready for your upcoming trip.
Forget the comment. You are so right to focus on God and His sovereign control over this process.
I am so thankful He used our adoption to remind me again and again just how He was in control and to draw me closer to Him.
Blessings!
Hi Christine, SOooooo happy for you and Dennis. Press on and focus on what God has in store for you. We are right behind you with an appt 8/21. I am finding time flying by so I can only imagine how you are feeling. I purchased our tickets last night....it feels so official now!! God's speed! Stefanie
I am in shock about your rapid appointment--it is wonderful!!!! Didn't you just barely submit your dossier!!! And I'm sorry about the rude comment--total nonsense as far as I'm concerned. You are doing a GOOD thing. I see a comment from Kathy and Matt-could this possibly be the same ones I met at the embassy in Ukraine?
Joy, RR
Woohoo, Christine! I'm so happy for you! I knew this was going to work. I'm so excited for you! And just blow off the insensitive remarks. Some people are just.... foolish.
I get it! I get it! God is in control, and He is leading and guiding you. We don NOT have the money to adopt a child--all adoptions seem to be really expensive!--but we have the money to raise one, and the money we don't have, He'll provide. he says to not worry about what we will wear or what we will eat because He provides. It's sometimes hard to remember, but it's always such a blessing when He does.
I donated to help you adopt Dennis because I felt strongly that God was leading you to do this and I felt lead to participate in some small way. What you are doing is the most wonderful, loving thing, and I am so glad to hear that you're still trusting God. We can't always listen to what others say (Christian or not) because Christians often say some pretty non Christian things. I love what Debbie said about trusting God for what we don't have. People that go on missions trips always seek donations...should they not go because they "can't afford it"?
I think that some people are just clueless about how expensive adoption is! Not just the agency costs, but all of the travel costs on top of that. Ugh!
Your trip is right around the corner....cool!
God is in control and he WILL provide!!
I would REALLY like to feature you on my blog. Can you send me your family photo so I can get you some more donations??
Oh and that comment... from anonymous... I have no words. That is just ugly and horrible and from the pit of hell. There are not people jumping at the bit to adopt. Denis is one of MILLIONS. That is YOUR SON and it doesn't matter if you had 100 children... Denis would still be better off with you!
Yippe. . you are going!!! So soon too! Oh congratulations! I'm so thrilled for you! Yeah!
I'm just so thrilled. . I about shouted it to my friend on the phone (yes I'm reading blogs and talking on the phone at the same time!)
Oh yeah. .and that comment. . you know I have nothing to say on that. I'm sad that this person doesn't understand God's heart and the way He works.
Praying for miraculous wonders,
Brandi
Was the comment really that rude?
Is it really an unusual reaction when you see a family of 10 people (wow - always amazed that you can do it!) and trying to adopt an 11th to wonder wow, how can they do it? And then if they are asking money to adopt, wonder if they are truly doing it to serve Him or themselves? Would you really prefer a blog with everyone saying how great you are, how Blessed you are, or a true conversation? If the comments really bother you, why not get rid of them altogether.
OH! Congratulations! I am so happy for you that you have the commitment! YEAH!
I am so sad to hear that you had someone leave you such a horrible comment.
It's very easy for someone on the outside to throw comments around like that and also probably an easy assumption on my part to assume they have never been on the end where you are now or where I have been many times.
People like that, who say things about the dollars and cents, probably know nothing in their lives but dollars & cents- nothing of the love, compassion & faith it takes to raise so many wonderful gifts from God.
Hey Christine.
Just a note from Arizona to let you know I've been following your blog for quite some time now and your family is wonderful and your kids are absolutely adorable. On a second note, I have previously signed as Anonymous but I must say I am not the person whom left this comment, or other comments for you.
I believe everyone above has said it. But I will add to thier remarks in as much as to say I would love to adopt. In fact, I will one day but at the moment I am not even financially stable enough to support myself. That said I follow adoption blogs closely and have started where I can - learning about adoption and the languages of countries I might adopt from if I go International instead of Domestic. As it is, as everyone else has said, nearly everyone adopting asks for donations and fundraisers and this remark left is moot as far as I can tell. And I've heard that if only 7 percent of the population adopted then there would not be kids in foster care or orphans around the world. I am not saying to quote me on that, its merely what I've heard. But for someone to say you are denying someone else a chance to adopt is not so, you know that and we all know that. Or none of these children would be waiting. You have just taken a step forward to get your little boy. And there is nothing wrong with that.
And I shall have to sign as anonymous simply because I don't have an account, but my name is Debrah, and its very nice to meet you at last. Give that little boy and all the other kids a big hug for me.
I think you've adopted the correct frame of mind. You have to guard your heart from Satan's flaming arrows of doubt by holding up your shield of faith! Sometimes people don't even realize they are being used by the dark side in what they say. Listen to His faithful words of life instead! SO excited about Dennis coming into your family!
We follow God through faith, knowing that He will lead us down the right path. Getting caught up in the worldly view of things would cause us to miss out on His will and His blessings! I thank Him that you guys are surrendering to His plan and trusting Him through everything. Obviously, not everyone understands why you are doing this, but you don't owe them an extended explanation either. If they are struggling with this, you can do exactly as you did - explain what God has lead you to do - and then pray for them.
I pray right now that anon's heart will be softened to recognize that this is God's call for your family.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27
It is my belief that not every family can look after orphans through adoption, but they can look after orphans through prayer, financial support of orphan ministries, support of families that are adopting, missions, etc. Furthermore, while you are living out the first part of this scripture by "looking after orphans" you are also living the second part, keeping you & your family "from being polluted by the world", by not surrendering to the worldly pressures like anon presented.
It isn't a matter of doing it because you are rich and just wanna spend your money on adopting another child...it is because you are obeying the mandate from the Lord to care for the orphans (exactly what Karen posted).
As a Christian, we can not look over verses that make us uncomfortable or we don't know how they *fit into our lives*. These are the commandmants He has given us. Not all are called to adopt, but all Christians are called to care for orphans. If someone is going to adopt one...then the rest of us can come alongside and give some money. Dennis is a child of God, created in a the image of God...this precious boy deserves a chance at being loved, held, rocked to sleep even if it is in hand-me-downs. He does not deserve what his innocent life has dealt him. Praise Jesus for Christine, hubby and family!!!!!
It's as simple as that, Anon. Your comment was mean-spirited and completely unneccessary...that is why you cowardly left it under anonymous rather than using your name. Anon...are you willing to answer the call and adopt these children? Why don't you show some respect towards this family and encourage them in what they are doing rather than leaving obnoxiosly rude comments under the name of anonymous?!?!?!
oh and by the way...we didn't have a single dollar at the start of our adoption...the Lord brought great glory unto Himself by moving in people's hearts to donate towards our adoption. He showed Himself Faithful by providing every dollar needed!
Dear Anon,
How about leaving your name?
Clearly you and I do not serve the same Jesus. Please do not call yourself a Christian. It is people like yourself that give Christians a very bad name.
Yes, your comment was rude. VERY RUDE. And VERY wrong. As a Christian I think you know that your words are to be edifying. Your words are straight from the PIT OF HELL my friend.
What are you doing to serve the poor, oppressed, the widows, the orphans?
I have known Christine for a long time. She is the farthest thing from self gratifying that you can get. Any woman who is willing to have 6 children, then go on to adopt 5 more... is ANYTHING BUT self gratifying. It takes a GREAT deal of selflessness to do what she is doing. She is BEING the hands and feet of Christ.
Tell me... is it better for Dennis to remain institutionalized for his life... never having any opportunity or chance to do anything than to be in hand me downs? GIVE ME A BREAK. You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. Dennis NEEDS LOVE NOT NEW CLOTHES. Not only will Dennis be loved ny his mother and father he has 10 AWESOME sdiblings who will shower him with love too. This kid will have more love and attention than most children will ever know.
My last request is that if you do not agree with this family's choices... than STOP READING her blog.
This is my second OH MY GODDNESS today!! I could not be happier that you have to travel so soon.
Squeeze him as much as he can stand.
God will provide for you. Do not listen to people who say that he will not.
You and Your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Joy
You guys are all just terrific. Really, your support is such a testimony to God's ability to unite us as sisters in Christ. God Bless all of you. ((hugs))
And I really think that I am going to take with a grain of salt, Anon's posts. Not the ones who have left their name (Thanks, it is finally nice to know your name) but the ones who still post with a bitter flavor to their comments and remain nameless. BTW, I do encourage true conversation Anon, and that is why I will not delete your comments at this time. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Christine-
I honestly agree with most all the posters! Many have NO idea how much the financial cost is to adopt - as well as the emotional cost! It is an emotional rollercoaster for EVERYONE! The sad thing is that even domestic adoptions cost MONEY! Sure, you can do the foster-adopt program... but your emotional costs can be overwhelming when our wonderful government gives the bio parent more than once chance to attmept to parent a child/ren that they are not fit to parent!
We chose international adoption after seeing three different families close to our hearts have their "placements" pulled out of their homes after a YEAR of being their "parents". It was heartbreaking for the children and the parents. Two of these families have chosen to go international, and one gave up their hopes of having a family. Anon should think about the BIG picture. If they don't support adoption - why are they reading your blog? And, as long as they are employed in THIS country... their taxes are going to orphaned kiddos here everyday - whether they like it or not! For some, ignorance is bliss!
Get those tickets and get packin! Dennis has waited long enough!
Amy
Having just written my comment on the post where Anon. posted, I read it over a number of times, and I don't think it was intended to be that "mean". I really think that people do not understand the cost of adoption. If you think it costs a couple of hundred, plus plane fare, you might wonder what was up. I just have this feeling that Anon might be thinking anew about adoption - perhaps that is why he/she was reading this blog to begin with. Far from banning him or her, (I also posted Anon for a long time before I became a blogger, and frankly it never occurred to me to put my name) I think that we should WELCOME people who do not understand! Let's HELP them understand! If they are not able to adopt themselves, maybe they will want to help when they understand a) the cost and b) the plight of orphans in Ukraine - particularly Dennis (undoubtedly "Anon" has not seen his photo).
They should also read "Cheaper by the Dozen" one of my all-time favorite books (a really GOOD book - forget the stupid movie - and not a NOVEL but a reminiscence of a delightful childhood in a big family).
Christine be safe in your travels and know you have the Lord guiding and all of us cheering and supporting you and your family.
Besitos,
Lisa
http://payne-familyadventures.blogspot.com/
Oh Christine, that comment makes me angry on so many levels, but I should only be sad for that seriously deceived individual. If Jesus had a blog, I imagine their comment might read:
"I guess it is a nice idea that you would go and save man from an eternity in hell. But I don't think you have thought it through. You already have a wonderful place here: surrounded by legions of angels continually singing your praises, ruler of heaven and earth, enthroned creator of the universe, etc. Why would you leave that to become a mortal man? And not just any man! A servant! I understand that this adoption will cost you your life. That they will beat you, spit on you, scoff, and ultimitaly nail your body on a cross. Your best friends will desert you. And then Your new children will also face trouble. Yes, they will be in Your family, but each of them will have to take up their cross and follow You. It just doesn't seem worth it to me. I suggest you let them muddle through on their own."
I am so sorry for the unkind comment. I too am adopting, and for the first time in forever, I am asking for help. BUT that does not mean that I can not raise my child, the same way it does not mean that you can not either. However, I do not think anon meant to be hurtful. I think they just do not understand. My soon to be son has HUGE medical issues and the expenses from his meds will be very high. We will have to make sure that we always have excellent insurance. I will be able to provide all of this, but the initial 10,000 to get him home. This does not mean that I can't raise him . None of us are forcing people to make donations. AND much of those donations are tax deductible. Lots of people like to make tax deductible donations. It not only gives them the opportunity to help, but it gives them a direct benefit too. I see nothing wrong with that. Hang in there, and I can not wait to see you bring Denis home.
Dear Anon,
I know you did not mean to hurt Christine by your comment. However, you did. As a Christian, I know that you would not choose to bring pain to anyone, so even if you think you were right in your comment, the fact that it brought pain made it a mistake. While you do not have to apologize, I think it would speak very highly of your character and your heart to do so. You may not understand Christine's motivation in pursuing another adoption(or mine for that matter), but that does not make her wrong. She is choosing to save one life, and what harm is there in asking for a little help from the rest of the world? We are all in this together as Christians. God bless.
Shea
Dear Christine,
I am delurking from Australia to say that I love your blog and that you are adopting another child. I am a first mother who has been living and open adoption for nearly 16 years. My son is growing into a wonderful man not just because of his parents love but because of the Genes that I gave him when he was created.
I have recently found out that I may not be able to have any more bio children due to a blood disorder so i have been researching adoption. It is hard to understand why it costs so much and why it take time to adopt these wonderful children that their bio parents where unable to raise for all different reasons. I wish that I had a pot of gold so that I could adopt a whole bunch of children. Unfortunatley this is not the case. I will now spend the next couple of years saving my money and having faith that this will turn out.
I can understand that people who are not in the adoption world do not always agree on what others are doing and have a different point. This is also the case with people in the adoption world we all see it slightly differently. We as christians should be helping these people understand why we are doing it and not getting upset at them not understanding. I myself will not be asking or expecting any one else to help me adopt 1 or more children. Even though we are told to help others in need I am not in need it is the child that is in need. But I totally respect others who ask for help and those who give it.
Peta
I think that everyone has pretty much said it all. I think that Anon simply doesn't understand. A lot of people were in an uproar about the Duggar family getting pregnant with #18. It's not our place to question what God has placed on your heart. I am elated that you can adopt Denis. Following your journey is amazing. It makes me want to bring home a dozen of those babies. Continue on. Your faith is amazing!
I also wanted to comment to Rachel about her missions comment. Thank you! I am still contemplating a mission trip to Africa and the one thing that is standing in my way is the cost. But, I feel that God wants me there. Maybe my faith needs to grow just a tad bit more...
Hurray!!!! I just read your previous post! God is great! Isn't it incredible how He brings different people together to accomplish His will (some giving money, some adopting the child). What a blessing that He made us to need each other. I must say, if everyone who could afford adoption without help adopted a child, there would still be orphans who need families. God is providing in a cool way for you to adopt--through His people. Praise be to Him that He laid it on your heart to adopt, and that you put pride aside and asked for help...for Dennis' sake and for God's glory.
Gina
I am praying for your family! Congratulations on going to get Dennis soon!
I didn't think the initial anonymous posting was rude at all. I thought it was asking valid questions actually...
"If we need to ask for donations, should we be considering raising an 11th child in this expensive world?",
"Is it for him or ourselves?",
etc, etc.
I would like to answer those questions, but before I do, I would just like to say that some of the remarks from others seemed far MORE rude to me anyway.
Let us call ourselves ignorant because we do not know anything at all about the poster!
But whether the poster was a family member of mine or a stranger in a distant land or born again or dying twice, the questions are certainly fair questions.
Firstly, we don't need donations. We'll borrow what it takes from savings to make this happen. So accordingly, we are open to donations, thankful for donations, and also understand the joy it can give the giver, so we have provided this opportunity for givers.
Secondly, think about the incremental costs of that 11th child vs say the 10th (an extra potato in the pot?, another shirt handed down from a big brother?, an extra bed in the room?, etc). We're not talking about the costs a first time parent would have.
Next question...
Does our adoption prevent someone else from adopting him? YOU BET IT DOES !!! My heart says he's my son. And no one else's. Had someone else adopted him in the last 14 months (70% of his life) that too would have prevented someone else from adopting him--but it wouldn't have been anyone capable of loving him more (regardless of what their bank statement may say).
Is it for him, Him, or ourselves? Cool thing about love and blessings and joy is that they don't go to exclusive recipients but are shared awesomely and infinitely by all involved.
Hope this helps.
Please let's leave the casting of stones to someone else.
"Does our adoption prevent someone else from adopting him? YOU BET IT DOES !!! My heart says he's my son."
That is the BEST response anyone could ever give. Boy, Christine is one lucky lady!
Post a Comment