Monday, June 9, 2008

God showed me

Admittedly, the past couple of days have been really challenging for me. Ever since I bought our tickets on Friday I have felt uneasy about it. All weekend my mind raced with thoughts about this adoption. We celebrated one of our daughters birthday on Saturday, and I felt bad because my mind wasn't completely focused on her.

First off, our tickets cost more than we were originally quoted thanks to Aeroflot adding on a commission. Secondly, our tickets had a layover in Moscow, Russia which has two airports with the same name--- SVO1 and SVO2. I could not get in writing that we did not have to change airports and when I found out that there was a new terminal C, I about lost all confidence that I had booked us good flights. I was nervous. My nervousness fed my other concerns and soon I was worrying about all kinds of things again. God, will we have all the money by the time that we leave? I haven't even began packing yet. I haven't bought any gifts yet. I haven't made a picture book of our family. Blah, blah, blah, blah. At this point I knew I should dive into the word. I knew it. My heart knew it. My mind knew it. But I didn't make time for God, and I suffered all weekend.

To make a long story short, by this morning, my birthday, I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. And selfishly, I headed over to my computer to read my email instead of opening the bible and spending time with God. If I were God, I probably would have made the Internet not work this morning, but instead I opened my email to find a note from Reece's Rainbow saying that someone or many persons had donated over $500.00 overnight. Tears started flowing down my cheeks. God is so faithful folks. I am here to tell you that. Even when we are so unworthy, God is ready to pour on His grace. Thank you God.

After seeing that email, I finally got off the computer and went up to my room to get my bible. I opened it up and found an old post-it note with the verse Psalms 143:7 I was flabbergasted.

Psalm 143:7 (NIV) Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't believe it when the phone rang about ten minutes later as I was finishing up praying and it was my travel agent saying that she got my message about canceling our flight and finding a better one. She said that she found great seats on Delta with one layover at JFK. The times were perfect, and so was the price. Praise God. I thought to myself, "How'd you do that?"

And literally minutes later, John called me to say that we are one step closer to having our tax return back in time to use it for the adoption. Woo-hooooo! It was just so evident that God was telling me yet again,

"Christine, calm down. Take a deep breath. Relax. I am here. I am here for you. Aren't I always? When do I fail you? I love you. Please remember to come to me with your troubles. Do not worry about your adoption. You are doing what I called you to do. I will provide for your needs. Don't I always? I love you, Christine. Do not worry. "

By the end of the day, God showed himself to me time and time again. Things that were troubling me but had kind of taken a back seat have been resolved. Thank you God. God is clearing the path for me to focus on more important things, like getting our son, by freeing up my time to focus on Him more. Make sense?

To top off the day, I have to share that a very special letter came in the mail today. Nothing else---just this letter..... and a check. The letter was from one of my sisters in Christ that want to remain anonymous. I completely respect that. You know who you are and I thank you so much for the love offering to bring Dennis home. Your letter couldn't have come on a more poignant day.


DoveFamily said...

Happy Birthday :)

And, isn't God awesome!?!?!?

Tanya and Don said...

He will not fail you Christine! Happy birthday a day late! And congratulations on your wonderful news! I am sorry I haven't been checking the blogs or FRUA and just heard of your awesome news this morning! Go get Dennis! God bless all of the Reeds during this wonderful but challenging time!

Amy said...

Happy Birthday Christine!

I would not worry too much about purchasing gifts - you can get so much in Ukraine - and there - cash is king - as far as gifts go. For packing - my advice would be to pack as light as you can - AND make sure to have at least one change of clothes/overnight items (travel shampoo, soap, etc) in your carry on! JUST IN CASE your luggage gets lost - you will be set for at least a day!
As far as pictures... go to the dollar store and get a little album- if you already have photos, pop them in, type up a quick little description of who,what,where and cut them down to size and slide them in with the picture!
Take a few minutes tonight and go for a walk, relax! No kiddos, no hubby - just a few minutes with yourself!

adoptedthree said...

GOd has a plan and will for everything. Just let him guide you and hold your hand right to Dennis.

Julie said...

Isn't he amazing! I can't wait to see how he continues to bless you thoughout your journey!

Martha said...

Praise God! His timing is impeccable.

I'm curious. When will you actually be able to bring Dennis home? Do you have to return to Ukraine a second time?

Connie said...

Keep on hanging in there sis :-) You're stressing, but you are doing it right. God knows that you are not selfish and thinking of yourself instead of spending time with Him. Don't you think He knows that you keep Him in your heart always? Of course! He also knows you are human... being uncertain and nervous are natural. Keep on going with the flow... even when the current gets rough and swirly.. you'll get there.

Annie said...

Oh, Christine! So natural! Each time we adopted I had a preliminary panic attack! Well, maybe that is good in one way....You are taking this big event seriously. And, you got the beautiful reminder to put all your cares in God's hands.

You have a lot of people praying for you.

Debbie said...

Wow. I love it when God shows us He is faithful, in control, and loving. We are weak, but He is strong! We are feeling our own set of worries before Elaine arrives...I need to post about the week we have had and how the money seems to be flying out of our hands for the car, the lawn... But our God is faithful! He knows the entire situation and is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Happy birthday, Christine. Big hugs to you, my friend!


Kristen said...

Happy Birthday Christine. I didn't know it was your Birthday. I remember before we got Annabeth I was upset at how slow things were going, throwing tantrums before the Lord, worrying, thinking the Dept. of Social Services was more powerful than God (though sometimes they think they are), and yet only a couple of weeks after my "in the pit" experience, God blessed us with our beautiful newborn daughter and I had to come before Him ashamed of my behaviour and lack of faith. Praise the Lord He knows we are dust, and yet He loves us and blesses us anyhow.

Rachel said...

Wow, God is so great! It is so neat to read your blog and hear these things. I am so excited to see and hear more about Dennis.

Salzwedel Family said...

Praising God with you...what a great testimony to His faithfulness!

Ashley said...

Happy birthday, my sweet friend! This post is exactly where I am right now. I thank God for His provision and He is going to make this way for you even if you can't see it all now.

schoolmother said...

This just brings tears to my eyes. God is soooo faithful. Joy,RR

Martha said...

Oh, and Happy Birthday too!

Kathy & Matt said...

Happy Birthday and thank you for sharing all the ways God was so evidently working in your life.

It is so easy for us to lose that focus and yet when we turn to Him and rely on His plan, it is so obvious just how He is in control.

Praying for you!

Cairo Mama said...

Happy Birthday! I hope you feel the support from all over the world. I am in Seoul, Korea and I will be thinking of you and your family from here as you take this next step in your journey.

Kevin & Pam said...

I am so inspired by your family. I was on your other blog looking at all the photos of you guys having fun! I can't wait to grow our family too. You live in one of my favorite places. We went camping at The Kings River every year. Some of our best friends live in Reedley also. Our Ukraine journey is hopefully going to start soon. I can't wait to watch your journey. Our blog is Have a wonderful trip bring your baby home. Our prayers are with you!